Tracy Lee Karner
The Way I Was

10 Steps to Success for Ordinary People

Tracy Lee Karner
You WILL succeed!

Don’t have a genius IQ?  Weren’t born into wealth and status? Don’t have a degree from one of the top-10 Colleges/Universities? Too bad, because you’re not likely going to be able to change any of the factors which are assumed to determine a person’s likelihood for success…

But the assumptions, as usual, turn out to be wrong. Research shows that inherited intelligence, upper-class wealth and degrees from impressive institutions don’t contribute all that much to success.

“A person with less education who has fully developed their EQ, MQ, and BQ (read on to find out what those are) can be far more successful than a person with an impressive education who falls short in these other categories.” (Forbes, 4/12/2012)

This is great news. All the factors that really promote an individual’s likelihood to achieve professional and personal success are things that we can take control of. At any time, despite nearly any circumstance in our lives, ordinary people (like you and I) can choose to increase our chance of being extraordinarily successful (NOW would be a good time.)

So do your best version of the happy dance and sing, I can succeed!  I CAN succeed! I can SUCCEED!

This is not NEW news–history, literature, and spiritual wisdom have, for eons, promoted these principles as the pathway to success. But, for some reason, we 21st-century folk want 21st-century proof, and so, here is some more evidence.

Old-reliable Forbes magazine says that modern scientific research shows, that we can greatly increase our chances for success by setting a few basic and attainable goals (which I set for myself and worked on for years before this Forbes article came out, but I have to acknowledge that this article by Keld Jensen helped me condense and articulate what I’ve been thinking and doing).

The first two goals will qualify you for your Certificate in Advanced Emotional Intelligence (EQ is emotional awareness and the ability to regulate emotions and express your own feelings appropriately while being considerate of others’ feelings.)

  1. Become more aware of what you’re really thinking all day long (your self-talk, or inner dialogue) by keeping a journal (click here to get my free health journal)
  2. Learn and practice a few healthy techniques for coping with stress.

After a few months, award yourself your certificate and move on to the next goals.

*****

The next five goals earn your Certificate in Advanced Moral Intelligence (MQ is being responsible and being compassionate.)

  1. Make fewer excuses (ultimately, this is about taking responsibility–but it starts by not making excuses, even if you are convinced that it’s not your fault).
  2. Don’t lie–don’t even white lie.
  3. Accept people who are different.
  4. Tolerate imperfection, in yourself and others.
  5. Forgive wrongfully selfish deeds, committed by yourself and others.

Don’t confuse tolerance with forgiveness. Tolerate weakness and imperfection. Hate wrongdoing (to not hate it is to be morally immature), but forgive it.

Take six months (or longer) increasing your MQ, then , when you’ve developed the habits you admire, award yourself your certificate and move on to the next goals.

*****

The last two goals earn your Certificate in Advanced Body Intelligence–BQ is listening to and caring for your body.

If you’re having trouble with BQ (most people with fibromyalgia do have trouble with it), remember that this comes after EQ & MQ. Becoming highly advanced in emotional and moral maturity, makes caring for our bodies natural (and therefore much easier to do). BQ depends on self-respect, and self-respect depends on being people we HIGHLY esteem, people who manage our negative emotions and behave with the utmost integrity.

I am definitely NOT saying that we emotional or moral failures. But, we do have exceedingly high standards.

An emotional self-check revealed a habit of repressing and denying my anger, instead of acknowledging and accepting it. When I gave myself a moral self-check, I discovered a habit of social white-lying (I was being “nice” and thought I was avoiding confrontation; in fact, I was being untruthful and not respecting myself). I also discovered that my “nice” habit of stifling anger was because once I acknowledge just anger–at child abusers, or swindlers, then I had to forgive.

With those things nagging in my subconscious at my self-esteem, I found it difficult to take care of my body. Going back to fix those little emotional and moral glitches first, made advancing in BQ much easier.

Don’t set yourself up for failure by deciding to take on all 10 of these goals all at once. Take one-at-a-time. Each goal is like a seminar or a course. I don’t know anyone who could possibly handle more than one of these idealistic goals per month (and that’s probably too ambitious).

Of course, if you’re already diligently practicing these habits, you can award yourself an honorary degree in Good Living right now. But when it comes to serious goodness, we humans will always find room for improvement.

Aim Higher! 

And let’s be surrounded with songs of victory (Psalm 32:7).

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