The Way I Was

You are my lucky salsa…beautiful salsa…I’m singin’ in the salsa…

Why not just buy a jar of salsa?

Question: Why is Gene Kelly famous for singin’ and dancin’ in the rain?

Answer: Because only Gene Kelly can dance like Gene Kelly.

In other words, if you… Make your salsa, you’ll be famous for your salsa.

You’ll need (ingredients are approximate because you’ll want to improvise to make this uniquely your own song and dance):

  • 1 (14-ounce) can petite diced tomatoes, well-drained (reserve the tomato juice for making rice or soup)
  • 3-4 tablespoons chopped onion (red is nice, but choose your own color)
  • 1 clove garlic, minced (start with a small clove and ad-lib from there)
  • a small handful of minced cilantro leaves (fewer if they’re strong-tasting)
  • a sprinkle of salt (maybe two sprinkles, maybe none, depending on your taste for salt)
  • some minced jalapeño pepper or, some minced canned chipotle in adobo sauce, or a couple dashes of chipotle pepper, or habañero sauce
  • a hefty spritz of fresh lime (a couple of teaspoons, or so)

Because chopping veggies soothes my frazzled nerves and because I like to conserve electricity, I use a chef’s knife to chop and a spoon to blend. Also, I hate the sound of electric kitchen appliances (because they’re whiny.) Besides, a food processor only saves time if you don’t factor in how long it takes to clean and dry and put away the machine.

Put it together:

  1. Sample a tiny bite of your pepper, because peppers vary tremendously in heat. And don’t rub your eyes after you touch the pepper. Seriously, don’t! They will burn! If you hate spicy-hot food, you can use a bit of sweet green pepper instead.
  2. It would be good to taste the onion and cilantro, too, because ingredients always vary in taste and texture, depending on where and how they’re grown and handled while they’re picked, shipped and stored. Tasting is so pleasurable, I have no idea why any cook ignores this part of cooking. Maybe there are some cooks who don’t like food? I suppose it’s possible….
  3. Mince everything on your cutting board (or in your processor).
  4. What does it need? Maybe some more lime or cilantro, but listen to your wise self, and add whatever your salsa wants, until voila….

You ought to go into the salsa business.

Wait, no, don’t do it!

Do you have any idea how many bottled salsas and sauces are already on the market?


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